(Actually written on July 1, 2014, but delayed posting until we let the cat out of the bag)
It’s amazing how I thought this whole pregnancy thing would go and how it’s actually going. I thought I’d keep exercising- no matter what- and get in the best shape of my life. Instead, the nausea hit. HARD. As in, had to close my computer, lean my head back, and pray I wouldn’t throw up in a work meeting hard. I never actually threw up, but the feeling reminded me of a hangover… the kind where you don’t feel good and your stomach is unhappy and you just KNOW you’re eventually going to throw up, you just have to wait for it to happen and be miserable.
After about a week of not feeling good, a mild depression set in. It made it worse that MrC was going through this motivational period in his life where he dropped 20 pounds in a couple of weeks and started working out every day (”Sorry,” he said when I tried to talk to him about how I was feeling, “I know it was bad timing for me to get motivated ot lose weight”) Which leads to him now weighing less than me- before any baby weight has even been added.
Then MrC’s work thing came into play. His company was hosting this world-wide class-type thing for 2 weeks. We had known about it for a while, and I thought I’d just deal with it. That was before crazy hormones took over and suddenly, I was lonely. MrC couldn’t call me so I had no one to talk to. He was still insisting we not tell anyone and while I had told a couple of close friends, some passive aggressive tweets would’ve done wonders for my mental health. He would get home at 8 or 9 and even spent a couple nights at a hotel. (Which, ironically, he did so he could get some sleep and then wound up going out to dinner & drinks with colleagues which angered me to no end)
While I was struggling, MrC wasn’t doing anything to ease my feelings. Instead, he seemed to become more self-involved. He decided to learn how to play guitar (something I learned when the books showed up in the mail), he started calling me less and less during work trips, and he started spending more time on Facebook.
Which leads us to today. I laid in bed and cried last night while MrC practiced his guitar. I know most of it was hormones, but in my head, there’s this reminder that his life hasn’t changed at all. I’m nauseous almost every day. (The pills help, but there’s still this uncomfortable feeling) I’m already planning mentally what needs to happen for me to be off work during a critical time at work. I already notice my shorts and pants a little snug in the waist. Meanwhile, MrC tries on his HS jeans and points out how close they are to fitting. He goes to the gym every morning and sometimes in the afternoon, even if I have to work late and it means the chickens don’t get let out and the dog is by herself for longer. He practices the guitar and decided to shave off his facial hair for the first time in 15 years or so. He made a comment on how messy the kitchen was when most days it’s all I can do just to keep the animals fed. (And trust me, I bit my tongue considering his chores aren’t getting done- the yard is barely mowed, the bushes need trimmed… but it’s amazing how quickly he points out the things that I haven’t done)
My mom made a comment and it stuck with me. She said “Some marriages don’t make it through having a kid. They just choose to give up rather than stick it out.”
I’ve never been the person who said she was always meant to be a mom. I’ve never been the person to talk about how I couldn’t wait to have a baby. And suddenly I’m pregnant. And I feel like I’m all alone with this.
So. I’m pregnant.
And I’m writing this today (June 19, 2014) but I’m not going to post it until August-ish. I made the mistake of telling MrC that it’s better to wait until the first trimester is over to tell people in case of a miscarriage and he has taken that to HEART and is saying we CAN’T TELL ANYONE. So, I haven’t. Except for JFriend, AFriend, RFriend, and my mom. hee hee. But they are all sworn to secrecy.
And at first, I thought it would be all romantic and “We have a secret we’re keeping from everyone!” But instead, I find myself in the midst of some crazy ass hormones that leave me more often than night plotting MrC’s death.
But let’s start from the beginning, shall we?
MrC and I had discussed when to start trying. I had wanted to wait until June or July so I could enjoy July 4th activities, as well as our vacation with some friends in late July to the Dominican Republic. Well, MrC was getting antsy (”We’re not getting any younger!”) And pulled the trigger a wee early. As in early May. His reasoning was that it would probably take a us a while. (I should point out that in our 8 years together, we’ve never used any form of birth control and haven’t found ourselves “oops-ed” so far so it did make sense. On the other hand, my mom had 8 kids and I already have 7.5 nieces & nephews so…)
The day after the trigger pulling, I was freaking out. I wasn’t ready for such a big change! I was a manager in a big company! My team was in the process of doubling! But after a couple days and reassuring myself that it wouldn’t happen THAT fast and if it did, babies are super cute anyway… I was okay. ish.
A couple weeks later, the trigger came again. “Whatevs!” I thought.
The week before Memorial Day weekend (a big party weekend at the lake), I was walking at work and realized my boobs were… BOUNCING. “Holy shit,” I thought to myself.
So, I ran home and took a pregnancy test. Even though I had told MrC I wouldn’t take one without him there.
And it was negative.
And then I was all “WTF? I guess it IS going to take us a while to get pregnant.” (Which shows my complicated personality…. wasn’t really ready for it to be positive, but then I was disappointed in what should’ve been my super-fertile-genes)
So we had the big party weekend at the lake where I drank lots, did flips on our pontoon bimini, and…. was in a super “hate MrC mood” for 90% of the weekend. To be fair, he was being his typical “drunk and don’t care how it impacts Jennifer” self. He wanted to play flipcup in the kitchen after a 30 person dinner when the kitchen was destroyed and when I told him NO, he insisted I was being overdramatic.
So then on Tuesday, I still felt angry and I couldn’t control it. I KNEW something was up. And those damn bouncy boobs! So I took another pregnancy test when I got home from work. I remember the light from the window was reflecting off the little screen… but then I realized it wasn’t the light. There were 2 lines. I stared at it for a minute, then realized I couldn’t tell MrC b/c I had told him I wouldn’t take a test without him there. Instead I sent him a text where I told him I had a “feeling” and he needed to pick up a pregnancy test.
Long story short, he got home with them, I took the test. It showed up positive (surprise!) and he immidiately went and got a glass of whiskey on the rocks.
“How do you feel?” He asked me with the shocked look on his face.
“Fine, I think. I mean, after that first trigger pull I freaked out so I guess I got all my freaked out out of the way.”
I was lost in my thoughts for a moment and then realized I should probably ask him the same thing.
He looked at me and said “Scared.”
6 months later I finally “unhide” this blog. Yay!
I have lots to say about the whole ‘getting married’ thing but for now- a couple of tidbits:
1) Our wedding was amazing. It was very “us” and the only regret I have is not changing back into my wedding dress after our first dance. MrC and I did a tango dance which would’ve been impossible in my poofy wedding dress… and with the huge relief of the dance being over (I think I was more nervous for that than the wedding), the thought of standing for another 15 minutes while my buttons got rebuttoned just wasn’t appealing. Nothing I can do about it now, but I DO regret it.
2) I didn’t cry on my wedding day. At all. Not when my mom gave me my grandma’s garter to wear (I tear up NOW thinking about it), not when my parents surprised us with a choreographed dance of their own, (watching the video, I cried), not when I walked down the aisle, not when I saw MrC for the first time… nothing. I think it was either block it all out, or be an emotional wreck and I chose to block it out. I’m so glad my parents thought to videotape everything because I got to go back through our wedding and see all the pieces I missed (everyone else walking down the aisle) and the parts I can cry at now.
3) I was really surprised at how long everyone stayed. We had considered stopping everything at 11pm but we decided to go until midnight and there was still A LOT of people there.
4) We had several people tell us it was the best wedding they’ve ever been to. It was expensive. It was time consuming. But it was wonderful. We had an open bar and great food… and we worked with some great vendors.
5) I’m still trying to get used to the whole ‘new last name’ thing. While there was never a doubt that I would take his last name, it’s still hard to get used to. I haven’t changed it at work yet due to not having my new social security card yet, but it should show up within the next 2 weeks… and then I’ll be MrsC.
First- I’m going to hide this blog after Tuesday. Not delete it, just hide it. So it’ll show back up in 6 months or so. I’m putting our farmblog on our Save-The-Dates so people can check for updates and I don’t want people finding this blog by mistake.
Second- I showed MrC pictures of me in my wedding dress.
People told me not to but I did it for many reasons:
1) MrC’s first reactions to things? He tries to understand them. So instead of focusing on the moment, he’s analyzing. By him seeing it, there are no surprises for him to analyze. He knows it has some poof. He knows I love it.
2) I spent double what I wanted to on the dress. An amount that’s equal to BOTH our mortgage payments for a month. Yes, I already ordered it. But if he really hated it? I would’ve found a way to get a new dress. I can’t just spend that much money on something he hated. Wedding dress or no.
3) I made him delete the picture. That way he can’t see it again for 6 months. Obviously he won’t forget it totally… but he won’t be able to see it again until the wedding.
4) When I told MrC how much the dress cost? His only reaction was “Oh. Okay.” And then when I brought up his lack of “HOLY SHIT YOU SPENT HOW MUCH ON A DRESS” response? He simply said “This means I get to spend a crazy amount of money on something.” That was it. No giving me a hard time. No asking me why I didn’t shop around for a better price.
5) People are right when they say when you try on a dress you love, you’ll know it. This dress was the 3rd one I tried on. It’s poofy. And as soon as I put it on? I felt… right. I loved it. I loved the details. The feel. The fact that I never pictured myself in a poofy dress but that I loved it. I didn’t want to take it off. There was another dress that I loved too but I couldn’t forget the feeling of this one. So now I’ll be the almost-30-year-old in a poofy dress. But fuck it. This is the only time I’ll be able to get away with wearing a poofy dress.
6) Dress shopping was really intimidating. People told me to ‘try on as many dresses as you can’! But that’s not me. I think I tried on 7 dresses total. But that was all I needed. And I didn’t throw up. And it was fun. I had the people around me who I wanted there - 3 of my sisters, my mom, AFriend, JFriend, and CFriend. Honest people who know me… and people who when I get a little irritable (mostly b/c of being anxious about the whole thing) they don’t take it personally.
7.) PEOPLE. I had a get a size 14 dress. SIZE 14 dress! While they could’ve ordered me a 12, they were a little worried about one area and said that I could always get it taken in but letting it out is hard. So whatever. But I ramp up my cardio workouts to 45 minutes this week and 50 minutes next week. Goal is to have to get it altered to a size 10 by the wedding. (Not saying anything about anyone who wears a size 14… it’s just higher than I’ve ever had to go… and I’ve been working out consistently for a month and a half now!) And even if I don’t make it to the smaller size? I don’t care. I will still be in the best shape I’ve ever been in by that point. Size 14 or no.
MrC and I have been together for 6.5 years.
It’s safe to say we’ve been through a lot. Deaths, births, job loss, job changes, graduation, depressions, big fights, little fights, buying houses, moving…. we’ve been through a lot. That being said, I fully believe that we are getting ready to face our hardest obstacle yet.
MrC invited his mom and her husband to stay with us while they are in town. And then he tells me that he will be in Canada for the first 3 days of that trip. (Not to mention that he didn’t discuss this with me first)
Now before you start thinking of me as the bitch-of-a-future-daughter-in-law, you have to understand that MrC’s mom is different than most. MrC’s grandma once told me that I needed to treat her like a child b/c her thinking is more child-like than adult-like. She didn’t mean anything bad about it, and I try to keep that mentality in mind…. but OMG it’s so hard.
For those who don’t remember, there are past incidences of run-ins with his mom. I’m generally an easy-going person but she has a habit of being passive aggressive to get a reaction out of people (most often MrC so that he will show her attention). An example of an instance is when, after getting engaged after 6 months of knowing a guy (and making it her 4th marriage), she held out her ring to me and said “Aren’t you jealous?”
MrC’s mom and I got into a fight when she came down to the lake one weekend and she tried to lie to MrC about things (”She has NEVER said she was thankful for anything I’ve done!” to which MrC told her she was wrong b/c he had heard me always say thank you and show appreciation) and that was when we were only together for 2 days.
The other kicker is that our dog died while she was watching her back in May when we were on our cruise. She claims our 8-pound-dog jerked the leash out of her hand and ran into traffic. I know she wouldn’t have hurt our dog on purpose, but I’m still bitter about that. That was our baby. And now she’ll be home with our pets (I’m on second shift that week as well) and she has a tendency to ignore things we tell her (we actually caught her not putting our dog on a leash when we had specificially told her she needed to be on one). Honestly, if another one of our pets dies b/c of her negligence, I will never speak to her again. For those who don’t know me in person, I mean that 100%.
The other addition to this is that her husband will be with her. Her husband is… odd. Very odd. He tends to have very long, awkward silences over simple questions (Me: “Is MrC’s mom home?” Him: PAAAAAUUUUUUSSSSSEEEEEE) and when I see him at their house, he tends to be shirtless. The shirtless thing isn’t bad, NORMALLY. But it weirds me out that when people come over you would be shirtless. MrC has a nice muscular chest and he doesn’t go shirtless when guests come over. And since MrC will be out of town, it’ll be me, MrC’s mom, and AwkwardHusband for 3 days. Just awkward silencing the hell out of each other.
So there you have it. I’m a horrible person but I’m dreading that week. (The last week in October). Feel free to share your own horror stories.
I’m sure you’re expecting me to say “Well, I didn’t really shit my pants…” and then go into a story on how I’m a responsible adult who doesn’t DO such things. But alas, that’s not going to happen.
So MrC and I headed to the lake one weekend with the understanding that we would drive back to the city to look at wedding venues on Saturday. We got up early Saturday morning and headed back north to check out two places that had caught our eye.
I was wearing heels with a cute top and white shorts. I NEVER wear white shorts. In general, I’m a very messy person. Crumbs, soda… whatever. So I tend to error on the side of caution and wear anything BUT white. But this day- THIS DAY I was feeling confident. My period was over by a week. And I loved my white shorts that fit well but were comfortable. So I wore white shorts.
MrC and I stopped at McDonalds for a quick bite before we toured the two places. We were about 10 miles from the city when my stomach started rolling. My stomach is not the most sensible thing on my body. It tends to go from happy to you’re-gonna-pay-for-that in a minute flat. MrC is used to this by now and my sudden HAFTA-GO-NOW urges. But this? THIS was worse than normal. So with a furrowed brow, I told him I needed to go to the bathroom. Like now. So he recognized the look in my eye and pulled over at the next gas station.
I can’t say when, exactly. But there was a point from me telling him to stop and the bottom of the exit ramp that I had an, um, feeling that it might be too late. So I prayed. EXTRA HARD. That I was wrong. That I was SO WRONG and I would joke with MrC later how I “almost didn’t make it.”. So we get to the nearest gas station and MrC parks right up front. My mind searched for a subtle way to NOT walk in front of the truck…. but there was no way. I had to. So I just told myself it was probably nothing and to just go in. I walked in front of the truck (and thus in front of MrC) like someone who didn’t have a care in the world.
So I walk in and I walk quickly to the bathroom. I try the handle once. Twice. It won’t open but it’s not locked. Then I notice the sign. “Please See Cashier for Key.”
REALLY?! The bathroom is inside and you need a KEY?! So I walk to the front, ask for the key as calmly as I could and then hurry back to the bathroom.
I get in the door, lock it, turn around and yep. I had shit my pants. A huge stain all up my ass. Showing right through my used-to-be-cute white shorts.
I panicked. I tend to be a calm thinker but there was no way I was covering this up. I removed my white shorts and my underwear and frantically washed them in the sink. (This should be a warning that you NEVER KNOW what someone did in a gas bathroom sink. NEVER) Nothing. That stain was there for good. My mind rushed through things I could do. But there was nothing.
So I stayed in there for a good 3-5 minutes trying to clean myself up. Then I looked in the mirror, said “Fuck it” and decided there was nothing I could do.
So I walked out of there, shit stain on my white shorts and all. Handed the cashier the bathroom key like I LIKED having shit on my white shorts. Then I walked out to the truck. I opened the truck door mentally trying to decide what I should tell MrC. I opened the truck and….. there was a newspaper placed in my seat. I busted out laughing. I couldn’t look MrC in the face but he was laughing with me and then I looked at him and said “So I guess you saw huh?” He started laughing harder. I retold him my story of the locked bathroom, the panic.
Then he tells me his side. He had indeed seen my shit stain as I was walking in. He had reached for his phone to call me and then saw my phone still sitting next to him. He said he contemplated what to do (run in after me?) then said “Fuck it. I’ll just wait it out.”
We then went on a task of finding me some new pants to wear (”I’m not going looking for women’s underwear. I have to draw the line somewhere.” -MrC proclaimed.) So I wore a pair of dark gray scrubs (that looked close enough to dressy pants) with my cute top, heels, and no underwear. We missed the open hours of one venue but we were still able to make the second one.
On the way home, MrC proudly proclaimed “Today. Today I am SUPERIOR!” And for once, I couldn’t argue.
Is anyone else super sick of hearing about the Chick-fil-a thing? Becauase I. TOTALLY. AM.
I’m tired of hearing about it, but it also angers me. For various reasons. (Also, I know I have friends who are against gay marriage. I’m fine with that. 90% of you didn’t post passive aggressive hate comments on buy-Chick-fil-a day. Everyone has their own opinion!)
One. I read something along the lines of ‘do you know what every place you shop at company CEO’s beliefs are?’ And they made a totally valid point. I have no idea what the CEO/President of McDonald’s believes or doesn’t. Nor do I care. I have no idea what Wal-Mart’s beliefs are. Or Krogers. Or any other place I shop at. So me not going to Chick-Fil-A really doesn’t make sense, unless I’m going to do a whole lot of research on which CEOs believe in certain things and which CEOs don’t. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. And Chick-fil-a has good chicken, therefore, I will still eat there. Also, as someone on twitter pointed out… Facebook’s CEO is an atheist. Where are all the facebook boycotters?
Two. Most of the Chick-fil-a controversy supporters are the religious types. Do you think you’re doing your religion a favor by showing others how involved you can be in hating another group? I once worked with this woman named Maria when I was a server. She was the nicest woman you’d ever meet. I never heard her say a bad thing about anyone. She never criticized my choices or decisions and she would always lend a helping hand when needed. At the end of the shift when all the other servers were fighting over silverware so they could leave, she patiently waited to get whatever was left. She was always the last one to leave. She would also mention her church every once in a while. And when she suggested that I maybe come to her church’s service one day? I WANTED to (And I did). Because if the church she goes to helps make people like her be who they are, THAT’S what I want to be a part of. Not some group that encourages people to go eat at a restaurant to show the world how gay marriage is SO BAD OMFG.
Three. When I say that I support gay marriage, I don’t say “I DIDN’T go to Chick-fil-a today.” I say that I think everyone has a right to be happy and that I’m perfectly fine with gay marriage. I was reading comments about how “Chick-fil-a lines are so long, it’s amazing to see” and “This is the best Chick-Fil-A I’ll ever eat.” Passive aggressive much? Also, you just put an extra $1 million into the Chick-Fil-A CEOs bonus. Uh. Good job. Maybe you should really show how much you hate gay marriage by sending money to the government. That would really show them!
Four. Gay marriage is a religious issue. It is. The only arguments that I’ve heard so far is that it goes against the principles of marriage. Why is the government involved in that?
Five. And the most personal reason. When we graduated college, MrC didn’t have a job for the first couple of months. My first engineering job out of college offered domestic partnership benefits. Because of that, I was able to put MrC on my insurance. Did it hurt anyone? NO. Did it help MrC? Yes. Did anyone call me a bad person for doing it? NO. Fast forward to my current company who offers domestic partner benefits but only to same-sex couples. This meant that when MrC’s grandma passed away, I couldn’t use my funeral days b/c we aren’t married. Even though I’ve known MrC’s grandma for 6 years now, even though I’ve seen his grandma more than I’ve seen my own (she lived closer), and even though I consider MrC’s family MY family… none of that mattered…. my job didn’t consider her MY family. This put into perspective what gay couples go through. Imagine being with someone that you consider your family for 20, 30, or even 40 years. And the government tells you that they are not your family. And your job tells you they are not your family. How fair is that? Who are you to determine who someone else’s family is? I was lucky in that MrC’s grandma’s funeral was on a Saturday… otherwise I would have had to use points (which deduct money from my bonus and raises each year). All because my job wants to tell me who is and isn’t my family. And it’s theworld telling gay families who are and aren’t their family.
Six. If we allow gay people to get married, it won’t affect 99% of the population. It’ll make the other 1% happy. So what’s the big friggen deal? As a comedian once said… “If they want to get married, why not let them be miserable like the rest of the married couples?”
I know there are people who are supporting the Chick-fil-a’s CEO right to free speech when they ate at Chick-fil-a yesterday (which I totally agree with). However I can’t help wondering how many people would’ve supported Chick-fil-a if it had been for the opposite reason (if he had voiced his SUPPORT for gay marriage). My guess is that it wouldn’t have been a record breaking day.
What did you think of the Chick-fil-A activity? Keep in mind, I’m not looking for hateful comments and those will be deleted. There’s a difference between being hateful and voicing your opinion.
Wow. Two posts within two weeks. I’m on a roll!
Really I wanted to check in and see how certain commenters were doing (Sara, Sarah, and Mrs. Captain, I’m looking at you!) with their own phone-and-driving habits. Me? I’m doing pretty darn good. The first day, I surprised myself with how often I reached for my phone, mindlessly. I actually laughed out loud at myself after the 5th time b/c REALLY SELF? I also noticed that I reach for my phone more often when I have a lot on my mind (mainly my neverending to-do list). But so far I’m sticking to my no-messing-with-phone-while-driving. (Note that this doesn’t include talking on the phone or GPS-using (which is rare) but with no facebook, twitter, or scrabble? It has taken away 98% of my phone-on-the-road using).
I will say that Wendy even said said something that I think but didn’t say in my blog post… when I hear someone wrecked from texting & driving, I think to myself that they were doing it wrong. She also brought up how when you have time to enjoy the things around you, you tend to savor the moment. (in better wording, but still truthful)
So, fess up! How’s the habit breaking going?
There are some things you don’t want to admit. The little black hair on a female’s chin that gets plucked every couple of days. The embarrassingly high credit card bill that no one else knows about.
For me? It’s messing with my phone & driving.
I KNOW it’s dumb. I know that all it takes is a split second to wreck- to not see something that if I had been paying attention could easily have been avoided. I KNOW all that. But my need to constantly be multi-tasking doesn’t shut off when I get in the car. If I just catch up on facebook & twitter happenings and glance through my email… I’ll have more time to do other stuff when I get home. (When in reality I still check my phone when I get home)
A couple weeks ago, I was driving home from work and briefly looked at my phone. I looked up and there was a deer running across the road, not 2 feet from my front bumper. I reacted too late, by the time I hit my brakes she was gone… but there was a van going the opposite way and they had completely stopped. So I knew that the deer would have been easy to see had I been paying attention. My heart was racing, my adrenaline flowing. I had almost hit ANOTHER deer with my car. In daylight this time. (As a side note - I only see deer at night usually. Why was she running across the roads in the daytime?!)
Then, just last night… something similar happened. I was looking at my phone and looked up to see a flash of brown at the very end of my front bumper. I gasped as I recognized it as a dog then held my breath for that split second that I didn’t see it. Then he reappeared on the other side of my car, a flash of brown safely on the other side. I realized how close I had come to hitting him… to killing what was probably someone’s pet. I put my phone done with a heavy heart. When our dog was hit by a car just two short months ago, was someone looking at their phone? If they had been paying attention, would it have saved our dogs life and in return all of our heart ache?
My thoughts drifted to the stories that I seem to read on a constant basis… the teen killed because they were texting. An entire family’s life changed forever because someone couldn’t put down their phone and just drive.
I’m not dumb. I understand that if I wreck while looking at my phone, I may hurt someone else in the process. I may kill an animal. I may kill a pedestrian. So how many close calls does it take before I put down my phone? Apparently a lot. I can’t count the number of times I’ve looked up from my phone to see that I’ve drifted over the center line. (Although I’m very careful to not look at my phone when I see a car is coming the opposite way)
The fact that I can’t just sit in my car and drive bothers me. Am I so addicted to social networking and knowing what’s going on every second that I can’t put my phone down for an hour? I don’t look at my phone when MrC is with me b/c he, well, wouldn’t let me. He’d take my phone and throw it somewhere where I couldn’t reach it before I knew what was happening.
I can’t help wondering, does anyone else have this ‘problem’? The need to constantly be doing something and know what’s going on? It’s a habit I’m breaking starting today. At least while in the car.
Things I should be doing:
1) Finish up my website so I can start selling coupon binders
2) Finish up my website so I can start selling eggs (although they’re not really related, I want it to show our newest chickens, etc)
3) Re-new my car registration. It’s 6 days overdue now. That’s better than the 6 months I let it go last time.
4) Re-new my driver’s license. It still shows our old address. And I went there once to renew but the BMV website is vague on what is required to change your address so I only showed up with one bill showing my address. (or something like that, it was 6 months ago, I’ve forgotten the details)
5) Quit bitching about my job. I can’t stand when people complain about their job and yet do nothing about it. I’ve been complaining to MrC for a couple months now but I know if I stay here for just a little.bit.longer I’ll get more management experience and be in the big league. But GAH. Sometimes I really fucking hate it.
6) Get a routine where I clean the house regularly. I probably vacuum once every 3 months. Which is TOTALLY gross. We have 3 cats and 2 dogs inside. GROSS. I’m gross.
7) Start a wedding binder so I can keep track of the venues I’ve contacted and pricing information. I like to be organized but it’s way hard.
What I have been doing:
1) Trying to organize my Lake House pictures from last year. For some reason, this is high on my priority list right now.
2) Spending $500 at the vet. That’s more than MrC and I’s healthcare costs for the past 2 years.
3) Getting back into running. The past week has been beautiful for running.
4) Adding vinegar to my Shark SteamMop. It says not to add any other liquid/material into the container except for water. I added a tablespoon full of vinegar and I love it. It helps eliminate odors. It sanitizes! Now if only I could vacuum with vinegar somehow so it would interest me enough to do it.
5) Drinking diet drinks. I haven’t had a regular coke in a couple of weeks now. Of course I haven’t lost any weight. I’m sure MrC has lost 20 pounds. Because that’s how it goes.
6) Looking in the mirror one day and thinking “I think I’m starting to lose inches!” then looking in the mirror 12 hours later and thinking “Gah. Where did all this fat come from?”
7) Fantasizing about my dream deck and kitchen at the lake… all while telling MrC we can NOT buy a new truck until after the wedding. (And he pulled the “I’ve never owned a new vehicle before. You have. Lucky.” He’s right, but my new vehicle was half the price of what he wants. And I didn’t have any other bills.)