The Cubicle’s Backporch

1.) Last night MrC, myself, and another couple went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant and somehow got on the topic of strip clubs. (What? Mexican restaurants and strip club convos just go together.) And this was the conversation that ensued between the Guy and the Girl of the couple we were with.

Guy: So, are we going to go to one or not?

Girl: (Who has never been to a strip club) I’ve always been afraid to go!

Guy: What? Why?

Girl:  I’ve always been afraid I’d fall off the stage!

MrC and I exchange WTF looks.

Me: Uh… YOU won’t be on stage…

Guy: Yeah, you just watch.

Girl: Well, you know what I mean…

We didn’t know what she meant, but apparently she thinks if she goes to the strip club, she will be forced on stage and then will fall off sometime during her show.

2.)  I’m happy to say that yeast infection cream DOES work to clear up ringworm. I found a spot of ringworm on my butt too. Which is great.

Last week I woke up with this spot on my arm. I figured it was a bug bite and didn’t think too much about it.

But it stayed around for a week and it had a ‘ring’ look to it. I started to think maybe it WASN’T a bug bite and figured I’d get to the doctor eventually. Then at work two days ago, someone said “That looks like ringworm” and showed me a picture and other people started agreeing.

So I immediately started picturing this WORM creature under my skin. So gross.

Then I did some research and found out that it wasn’t a real worm, just a bacteria infection. Whew. (B/c really? A worm under my skin is a little too much to think about)

So anyway, that’s how I found myself at the Walgreen’s take care clinic. “It’s great,” a coworker said, “They’re usually not too busy and a nurse practitioner sees you and it only costs half the price of an urgent care visit.”

So I went to the Walgreen’s take-care clinic b/c of his good recommendation and the fact that in my research it said that a doctor would probably prescribe a cream to fight the bacteria- no big deal. And I’ve seen nurse practitioners before and they were knowledgeable.

So I get there, sign in on the kiosk and wait for my name to be called. In fact, I waited AN HOUR. It was 45 minutes before someone even came out to call the person in front of me. I know, I should’ve left… cut my losses. But I kept thinking “I need to see someone about this and I might as well get it over with today.”

So, I wait an hour and finally get in the room where the nurse practioner (NP from now on) asks me some health history questions and gets my insurance information. After 15 minutes of paperwork, she asks me what she can help me with today and I roll my arm over and say “Well, I think I might have ringworm.” And she looks at it and says “Yeah, it kind of looks like that.”

THEN she gets a book out to read up on ringworm. I’m not shitting you.

So she reads, and tells me what she’s reading… “…and you’ll want to apply the ointment twice a day. And don’t use the same towel to drive that area off with that you use for other areas of your body….” I nod b/c it was similiar to what I had read online and I knew it was contagious.

THEN, she gets out another book to figure out what to prescribe me. THEN, she uses a computer program that tells her a couple of different options on what to prescribe me.

She picks one and writes a prescription.

So I leave thinking “Waste of time, but at least I have a prescription.”

Then I stand around for five more minutes while she confers with the pharmacy. Then she goes to another patient and I ask the pharmacy tech if I can come back to pick up my prescription b/c I have a meeting that I can’t miss.  She says sure and I rush out of there.

Fast forward to me getting off work and heading back to Walgreens to pick up my prescription. I walk in and tell the tech my name and she asks the Pharmacist “Is that the one that’s up front?” And he says yes and goes to the over-the-counter aisles.

“Is this an over-the-counter item?” I ask the tech.

“Yes. But the system says we’re out of it, so he’s just making sure.”

At this point, I’m starting to get a little pissed.

So, he comes back and says that they are indeed out of what I need. The tech says she can call and find it somewhere else so I ask if it’s available everywhere.

She says yes and then gives me the name of it and tells me I can find it in the YEAST INFECTION area.

Umm. Okay.

So anyway, I go to another store and why yes, it is in the yeast infection aisle b/c it’s a YEAST INFECTION TREATMENT product.

And nowhere on the box does it say it should be used for anything but a YEAST INFECTION.

But I buy it anyway hoping it’ll work.

So basically I paid $75.00 to tell the NP what I had and to have her write me a prescription for an over-the-counter vaginal cream.

Yep. I’m never going back there again.

But I do giggle in glee when I warn MrC to make sure he doesn’t touch my vaginal cream.

First of all, SPOILERS AHEAD! Do NOT READ IF you haven’t seen Sex and City 2 and you want to be surprised!!

I was SO. DISAPPOINTED in Sex and the City 2. I wasn’t even expecting anything amazing… just my favorite characters doing funny things in great clothes.

Let me first say that I LOVE Sex and the City. I’ve watched every episode through the seasons. When Carrie dropped her cell phone on her (gorgeous!) wedding dress in the first movie, my heart dropped. I wiped away tears. Then when she moped for days b/c she had been stood up? I felt her pain.

So, I was a little prejudice going into the movie. It was going to be hard for me to NOT like it.

But yeah. Lots of things I didn’t like.

1.) The characters weren’t their vivacious selves. I always picture them skipping through New York in high heels, laughing. The first thought that comes to my mind from this movie is TIRED. They were just kind of TIRED.

2.)  Stanford and Anthony get married?! REALLY? And they seemed like they were going to go off on the subject of Anthony saying just b/c he was married doesn’t mean he wasn’t going to cheat. But then they didn’t. And all of a sudden it was more of a ‘We can make our own relationship rules’ thing.

3.) At the gay wedding, the couples (Carrie, Charlotte, and Maranda with their respective husbands) were just too… happy. Even at the wedding. It was too much of a ‘everything is so perfect’ scene that I just DID. NOT. LIKE. I mean, if they wanted to play Charlotte as the frazzled mom of 2, why not have her show up looking a little less Single Charlotte? and more like Mom Charlotte?

4.) Carrie = FABULOUS SHOES. But apparently she quit buying shoes so she could buy furniture. LAME. If I wanted to watch a show about furniture, I would watch HGTV (which I love!).

5.) Skipping to the end. Carrie kisses Aiden. And then tells Big. And she gets home and Big has… BOUGHT HER A BIG ASS BLACK DIAMOND. Really?! REALLY???

6.) The hot nanny is a lesbian. How convenient.

7.) I was disappointed that the relationships with the guys weren’t shown as much. It was sort of an ‘everybody has great relationships, so let’s go to Abu Dhabi’ feeling.

So yeah. And I know that Samantha is 50, but couldn’t they have portrayed her as a cougar? Instead of menopausing?

I was so excited to see this movie. And I’m glad I went and saw it. B/c it makes me appreciate the first movie SO MUCH MORE.

Have you guys seen it? What did you think?

::This was told to me second-hand but it’s so funny I had to post it::

Scene: MrC’s mom’s husband (who is a recruiter) discussing gay men with a high school senior.

HS Senior: blah blah blah, gays.

MrC’s Mom’s Husband: Yeah, fuckin fudge packers.

MrC’s mom: I love fudge! My mom used to make the best fudge.

hee hee. And no, I do not agree with calling gay people names like that, but I’m pretty sure MrC’s mom’s comment ended that conversation. She kills me with her randomness.

Last summer, some friends of ours asked if we wanted to go to Lake Cumberland. (NOT the lake we have a house at) We said yes, b/c we’re always up for doing new things but I wasn’t really looking forward to it. I mean, what would be so different about this lake?

Little did I know that this particular weekend (The Poker Run Weekend) was known for its CRAZINESS. Think of a “Mardi Gras on the water” type of thing.

First off the Poker Run takes place with very big, very expensive, very fast boats. Neat. Then everyone heads to this little cove area (there were so many boats pulling in that you had to push yourself away from the other boats, there was no way to avoid them by steering alone) and the party starts.

These guys were on the houseboat across from us:

Creative, no?

And of course there was Gorilla Man:

And Interesting-Hat-Guy:

I saw so many b00bs that day. And if the Poker Run is representative of the female population, 90% of females out there have implants.

These were friends of ours on the boat next to us. The guy is passed out and that old guy bending over his boat (who was NOT a friend of ours) kept sticking his finger in our friend’s belly button.  At the time it was pretty funny but now that I think back on it- VERY WEIRD Mr. STRANGER!

Also? I’m not one to criticize parenting, but bringing kids to this? I’m not sure WHY IN THE HELL you would ever do that.  I mean, there were tons of girls there who weren’t even wearing a top. AT ALL. So they couldn’t have covered up if they wanted (and were sober enough) to. What do you guys think?

You might be wondering where the cops were in all this. And they were there (working, not for fun). In fact, the boat next to us got in trouble. The girl (you can see her in the picture in the yellow bikini) had been flashing her b00bs all day. Then she started throwing up and went and passed out. Well, she got up and her boyfriend was taking pictures of other girls (which, hello! Everyone was doing it!) and she got PISSED and started beating the shit out of him. Well, the cops were rolling by at that time and had her get on their boat to talk to them. She convinced them that everything was fine and they went on their merry little way.

But really? You can’t go to something like this and be a jealous person.  After about 2:00pm or so, a paramedic started riding with the cops. You can tell this ain’t their first rodeo!

Overall, it’s a great place for old perverts. Like this one:

But really it was a lot of fun and no one was there to start trouble, everyone just wanted to have fun.

We’ve already reserved our cabin for next year.

Have you guys ever been to anything like this?

I’m sure most of you guys have heard about Cake Wrecks. It’s a blog that chronicles cakes-gone-wrong… including wedding cakes, theme cakes, and even those funky store cakes. (And ones with crazy writing- like “Happy Birthday underneath balloons”- hello cake writer! That was the instructions, not the full words!) But they posted today about something great they are doing- every day for the next 2 weeks they are backing a different charity. And if all their readers donate just $1.00 for each charity, they’ll raise $80,000 for FOURTEEN charities!! So head on over and pitch in your dollar, I think it’s a great idea!

Click HERE to read the initial post about the charities. (And donate to the first one!)

Happy Holidays!

So I’m back like Slim Shady.

Obviously that means I got a job. And since I am now employed, I’m going to list out some things about the interviews I went on.

1.) Interview with Potential Company #3. The interview was on a day when there was flash flooding. IN THE CITY. Has nothing to do with the story, but it was odd. Anyway. The manager came and got me to interview me. He was probably 5′1″. No joke. And I’m 5′8″ without my interview heels on. So we get to the interview room, he tells me that the engineer that was supposed to interview me didn’t bother to show up (okay, in different words but I got the point) and that he wasn’t sure where he was. In a joking way (b/c we’d been joking before that) I say “Oh, what a slacker!” or something to that effect. Suddenly his face changes, he gets very serious and says “No, he’s actually a VERY hard worker.” My face falls, I’m stunned and all I can mumble is “Oh, of course.”  Strike 1.

2.) During the same interview, he’s asking me the basic questions. (What did you do at PreviousCompany?) and I’m responding with my well-rehearsed, to-the-point answer when he suddenly squints at me, and says “Sorry if I’m squinting, but I have a huge migraine.” Again, I’m stunned and say “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” (In my mind I’m thinking what the FUCK!? Should I talk quieter? Offer him an aspirin?!) Strike 2.

3.) I’m not sure where Strike 3 occured with that interview. In fact, as I was leaving he said that they’d get in touch with me by the end of the week about getting a drug test. And you don’t get a drug test unless you’re hired. But then I didn’t hear from them. And then I got an email saying they chose another candidate. Which was probably a good thing b/c MrC’s coworker knew someone who had worked there and hated it, saying that the management style was fucked up.

4.) I interviewed with Potential Company #2 the first time. They called me back for a second interview saying that the position was between myself and one other person. I go in and talk to the plant manager who goes on an ‘economy’ speech about how they’re trying to watch their spending. It made be wonder if maybe they WEREN’T going to hire for that position. I was supposed to hear something in a week. I waited a week and a half and called the HR guy. Left a message. He didn’t call me back. Waited another week. Called HR guy again. Left message. He never called me back. So I gave up. And still haven’t heard anything.

5.)  Interview with New Employer was the oddest interview I’ve ever been on. BY FAR. So I get a call and the women says “I was just wondering if you’d still like to interview with CompanyName.” I say “Of course.” And she gives me a time and says she’ll email me the address. She gets ready to hang up and I had to stop her and ask if there’s someone I should ask for when I got there. She said she would be at the desk. I got off the phone having no idea what company I was supposed to interview for (or even what position). So I did some googling and found that the company name she gave me was actually the parent company of a company I had applied for. Whew. So at least I knew what position (supervisor) and what company it was.

5a.) So I knew I had to be a hardass. You don’t get supervisor positions by being happy and smiling the whole time. So I mentally psyched myself up to be a Bitch-Who-Gets-Shit-Done. Which was a totally new persona for me. Usually I’m easy-going and laid back.

5b.) So, I get to the interview. It’s with the plant manager and the HR person. He’s asking me why I want to be a supervisor, etc. Then he says “Well, what would you say if I said this interview wasn’t going well?” And I looked him in the eye and said “I’d say you were wrong. I know I don’t have this specific experience, but I KNOW I’d be good at this job.” He looks stunned for an instant and then he starts talking about that he actually called me in to see if I’d make a good candidate for their engineering position.

5c.) After explaining the situation (1 engineer got let go, another resigned, and they were now left with 1 engineer) he called the Engineering manager in. The engineering manager is German (I’ve found that working with Germans is interesting b/c they’re to-the-point). He listened to my little ‘experience spiel’ then says “Sounds good. Let’s try her out.” I was sort of in shock just b/c here I’d been unemployed for 9 months and now I was sitting across from a guy who in one minute decided to ‘try me out’. I knew though that the plant manager would have to have the last say so I didn’t get too excited.

5d.) When the plant manager came back in and heard that the Engineering Manager wanted to hire me, he smiled and said “Well, we’ll definitely take that under consideration when we decide.” Then they walked me to the door.

5e.) I walked out the door in a daze. Not for the reason you would think (Yay! I think they’re going to hire me!) but because I had NO IDEA about the company. Usually I ask questions about what the company does, what they expect from their engineers, etc. But I never had the chance. I had no idea what my TITLE would be. I had no idea what I would be DOING, what the company itself even DID. It was very odd.

5f.) 3 days later, they called to give me an offer. A VERY LOW offer. I was stunned. I had never heard of any engineers making that little. They never even asked if I would accept it, they just assumed. I got off the phone and told MrC who (to my relief) said that there was NO WAY IN HELL I was working for that little of money. So I called my career advisor at the college I went to who sent me a range of salaries that people had been getting and their offer was A LOT less than any of them. So I called the company back the next day to renegotiate. (Something I’ve NEVER DONE)

5g.) They ended up coming up 20% which still means I’m making 20% less than my previous job, but it was something I could live with.

And now I’m employed again. This job is very different from my previous jobs, and I already have a shit-ton of projects… but I think that could be a good thing. I like multi-tasking and the projects are so different that I’ll get lots of good resume experience.

Also, it’s weird to think that a week before that offer, I wa

And I’ve been reading blogs on my lunch break but can’t comment due to websites being blocked. (Why can’t you comment directly from google reader?!) But I’ll try and comment this weekend.

Hi ya’ll. Happy Friday and all that.

What I’m really posting for is to say that I’m removing my blog. At least until I find a job. On the off chace that this little thing could be harming my job search efforts, away I go.

My twitter updates are also going to be private, so in order to see them, you’ll have to join twitter and add me as a friend.  (jandjacres)

You can still catch me over at Jen’s Farmily and I’ll still be commenting on blogs using that link, so feel free to check it out every once in a while.

My plan is to take this blog down on Tuesday. I just gotta figure out how to save everything without totally deleting it…

Underneath the kitchen sink BEFORE:

Underneath the Kitchen Sink AFTER:

Green Shower Caddy at Wal-Mart: $1.00 (Great deal! Go get you one!)

Plastic caddy at Wal-Mart: $1.14

Finding 3 bottles of the same cleaning shit, all 3/4 full: Priceless.

I’ve been on an ‘I must get organized!’ kick. And I feel better if I have ‘before’ and ‘after’ pictures. It means I DID SOMETHING.

When Mr. C and I bought the lake house, I had all these visions in my head. My friends would visit! His friends would visit! Our families would visit! All would be great!

Since then, my friends have visited (once). My family has visited (once) and his friends visit just about every weekend. Which means I’m the hostess with the fuckin mostess. Or rather, the forced hostess who is getting pretty damn sick of it.

There’s a lot you probably don’t think about when you have 8 people down for a weekend. The weekend before company is coming down, I’m usually washing sheets and blankets and remaking beds. The floor has to be vacuumed. The towels have to be washed and put away. The toilets have to be cleaned.

The week before the company comes down, I’m doing ‘meal menus’ so that I know what we need from the grocery store. I have to have the main courses (usually pork tenderloin, hot dogs, hamburgers, etc), the side dishes (broccoli cheese casserole, rice casserole, hashbrown casserole, potatoes, vegetables, etc), the bread (rolls), snacks (chips, dips, crackers, cookies), beverages (cokes, juices, milk, alcohol), lunch stuff (bread, lunch meat, cheese), breakfast stuff (eggs, sausage, bacon, biscuit mix), not to mention the other random things (do we have bandaids? tylenol? Benadryl? Toilet paper? Paper Towels?)

The weekend company comes down is a long weekend of working for me. Really. Mr. C’s responsibilities are grass cutting and grilling. I get everything else. Putting groceries away, cooking the majority of the dinner, marinating meat for the next days dinner, cleaning up the dinner remains, keeping the laundry washed, taking care of the dogs, making sure everybody has a place to sleep, packing up coolers and bags to take out on the boat with us. That also means when the guests leave, I’m doing the ‘after-math cleanup’. Cleaning up cans, bottles, random trash, vacuuming, washing sheets, and towels. Usually while Mr. C sits on the couch b/c he’s hungover.

Two weekends ago, Mr. C called me a ‘bad hostess’. Yes. B/c We had three neighbors that came down and we were all out on the back deck talking and I went to bed at 1:30am b/c I was tired. The guests we had staying with us had already went to bed. And he said I was a bad hostess b/c I went to bed and left Mr. C and the neighbors out talking and taking shots.

That pissed me off.

He doesn’t realize how much work I have to do. He doesn’t realize that while sometimes our guests help put leftovers in the fridge, there’s still the dishwasher to load and the mess to clean up. He doesn’t realize that the towels don’t wash themselves, the cooler doesn’t pack itself, and the snacks don’t mysteriously show up in the cabinets. And if I want to fuckin go to bed? I will. I don’t care if they spend the night out on the back deck. But if I’m tired? I’m going to bed. And if that offends them, well… I really don’t care. He also said that it was rude of me to be playing a game on my cellphone. They were taking shots. I wasn’t drinking that night. I was still talking to everyone. I was taking random pictures to put on facebook. What’s the big damn deal?

Don’t get me wrong, I love having people down. But good freakin lord it’s a lot of work. One of these weekends I’m going to tell Mr. C that I’m ‘off that weekend’ and not going to do a damn thing. Except sit on the back deck and drink a rum and coke.

What kind of host/hostess are you? Do you LIKE being one?