The Cubicle’s Backporch

My family should have their own reality show.

No really.

What makes them special- you may ask.

Well for one, unlike most large families I’ve seen… my family is full of pretty people. Example? My damn sister, who is 20 years old with 2 kids and looks like this:

Mikayla (not her real name) and her son.

She’s gorgeous and weighs as much as one of my legs.

My mom? Was going into modeling before I (SURPRISE!) came along.

Another sister (19 year old):

Jasmine. (Not her real name)

So we’ve got the pretty-people quality down.

Now the real question… do we have drama?

You have no idea.

Two of my sisters have two kids. For their second ones, they were only a couple of weeks apart. Talk about drama and baby daddy drama.

One of my sisters, Madeline, (Not her real name) is a drama queen… and always has been. She was the one would would shout “Noone in this family LIKES ME!” when she was younger. This past weekend? She told my mom that she hated her. Yep. Threw the big h-word out to our MOTHER. Why? Because my mom found out (not sure from who…*ahem*) that Madeline was writing blogs about how all she ever did was clean the house, how my siblings never helped her clean, and how Mikayla (pictured above) is mom’s favorite. Madeline is 23 years old. And complaining because my mom has a favorite. Keep in mind that my sister, her fiancee and their two kids were living with my parents. (Up until last week- after the Blog Incident- when they moved out.)

Madeline has since declared that she doesn’t want anyone in her family to know where she is living. She even took all of us off her friends-list on myspace so we can’t read her blogs anymore. (She is still friends with us on facebook though)

When mom called me and told me about the confrontation with Madeline where the h-word was thrown out, I laughed. Then I reminded mom of how Madeline has always over-dramatized things and ran her mouth. (For example- telling mutual friends things that I did… when in reality they weren’t true)

Mom and Dad have since changed the locks on the house so that Madeline can’t get in while they’re not there.

Sigh.

While I was still in high school, we had neighbor drama.

Our neighbors bought two german shepard puppies. We lived in a sub-division… you know the ones where the houses are about 10 feet apart? (My parents didn’t like it, but land is expensive where they live) So the puppies were cute… and then they grew up. Into adult German Shepards. Living in the neighbors backyard. In a yard with a pool. In short… the dogs were living in tight quarters.

These dogs barked. ALL the time. All night, all morning, and all day. They barked if it was cloudy. If it was rainy. If it was sunny.

My parents tried to call the neighbors to get them to put them in the garage or something. After about two calls, the neighbors quit answering the phone. Then the neighbors ‘resolved’ the issue by getting the dogs debarked. Then the scar tissue came and the dogs could bark again. So my parents took them to court. (I don’t blame them… my dad worked 3rd shift and it sounded like the dogs were RIGHT beside the second story windows)

My mom does stuff right though… she had documentation about when the dogs barked, when she tried calling the neighbors and anything that was said in conversations with the neighbors.

Needless to say, they haven’t spoken to those neighbors in many years.

So, if anyone is looking for a good reality show, I think I know a good family. But for now, it’ll just be blog fodder.

A 6 words Meme.

Last week, I got tagged by Ree (aka Hotfessional) for The Six-Words Meme. Y’all have seen this right? Originally started by Smith Magazine - the history being:

Legend has it that Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in only six words. His response? “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” Last year, SMITH Magazine re-ignited the recountre by asking our readers for their own six-word memoirs. They sent in short life stories in droves, from the bittersweet (“Cursed with cancer, blessed with friends”) and poignant (“I still make coffee for two”) to the inspirational (“Business school? Bah! Pop music? Hurrah”) and hilarious (“I like big butts, can’t lie”).

Here are the rules:

1) Write your own six word memoir;
2) Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like;
3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere;
4) Tag at least five more blogs with links; and
5) Don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play

My six words are:

Trying to look hot, play cool.

Because I want to lose weight, but I’m also trying to give off the air of being carefree and willing to go with the flow. Yeah.

My blog is young and I don’t have my pull, so if you want to do this, let me know and I’ll come check it out. I have a few people I’ll link to because I think there’s will be interesting, but if you’re reading this, consider yourself tagged!

Miz S.

Grumpy Frump.

Hank.

Maria at the Immoral Matriarch.

Slynnro.

Again, feel free to do this meme and let me know so I can read it!

Tags: Drama, Family, Meme, My Life, Tag

This entry was posted on Monday, April 7th, 2008 at 9:04 am and is filed under Family, My Life, The BP Reality Show. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.